


Wrong

by Not__Misha__Collins



Category: Smosh
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Other, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3109634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not__Misha__Collins/pseuds/Not__Misha__Collins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is very, very wrong with Ian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ian’s POV  
“Ian,” I heard Anthony cry as he knocked on my door, “Ian, are you in there?”  
“Yeah,” I yelled, “what’s up?”  
Anthony came into my house. He looked worried.  
“Hey Anthony,” I said.  
He didn’t seem to notice me, and ran past me, into the kitchen.   
“Ian!” He screamed.  
I also screamed when I saw what lay in the kitchen. It was…me? Yes, me, laying on the ground, empty bottle of pills on the table.  
“Ian, why?” Anthony sobbed.  
He grabbed my body and held it in his arms. What is happening? Anthony quickly called 911. 

Anthony sat on his couch, sobbing heavily.  
“He’s gone,” He mumbled, “Best friend…”  
I put my arm around him, but he didn’t notice.  
“I’m right here,” I said.  
“How did I miss it,” He sobbed, “Why didn’t he TELL me?!”  
“I didn’t think you’d care, Anthony,” I said honestly.

“Please wake up,” Anthony’s voice said, “Please Ian, I love you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Anthony’s POV  
It was my fault. My fault that Ian was in the hospital. He asked me to come over, and I said I was busy. Next thing I know, he’s laying on the ground, nearly dead, and being rushed to the hospital.  
“Anthony,” Someone said.  
I looked to see Ian, awake, alive on his hospital bed. I hugged him.  
“Where am I?” He asked.  
“In the hospital,” I said, “You tried to kill yourself. Ian, what’s wrong?”  
“E…everyone hates me, Anthony,” He said.  
“No they don’t, Ian,” I corrected, “You’ve been out for two days. Joven, Lasercorn, Mari, and everyone else bawled their eyes out when they heard you might not make it.”  
“What…what did you tell the fans,” He asked.  
“Nothing,” I said, “Not yet.”  
“I..I’m sorry,” He said.  
“NO,” I said, “I’m sorry. I ignored you.”  
He wiped the tears from his eyes. I hugged him again, and knew something was off.  
“When’s the last time you ate?” I asked.  
“Two…three days,” He said.  
“Ian…”  
“Fine, about a week,” He said.  
“Why?”  
“Because…”  
“Do…you do that a lot?”  
“NO,” He said.  
“Will you quit lying…”  
“Just LOOK at me, Anthony,” He said, “I’m shit.”  
“Ian, SHUT up,” I said, “You’re not ugly, and you’re not fat. Now you need to stop this.”  
“Help me,” He begged.   
“Of course, buddy,” I said, “I’m always here for you.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Ian, please eat food,” I said.  
Ian simply stared at me.  
“I’m not hungry,” He said.  
“Eat,” I said, “Just a little, okay?”  
He stared at me again.   
“Fine,” He said.  
He took a piece of pizza and munched it slowly. I got him some water to drink.   
“Is that better?”  
“I guess,” He said.  
“We’ll get through this together,” I said, “Okay?”  
He nodded.  
Two weeks later…  
Ian’s POV  
I read all the comments, all the ones that I can, anyways. Why do I torture myself. Ian’s ugly, Ian’s fat, Ian kill yourself. Why do I believe it? Sure, many of them are trolls, and there are plenty of girls-and guys- who think I’m attractive.   
I only eat when Anthony tells me to. Whatever I have to eat, I throw up later. I’ve lost at least thirty pounds in the last two months.   
The next day…  
Anthony’s POV  
I was hanging out with Ian.   
“I gotta pee,” Ian said.  
“Okay,” I said.  
He went off to the bathroom. He was taking a really long time, so I decided to see if he was okay. I knocked on the door.  
“Ian?”   
He didn’t answer, so I opened the door. I found Ian lying on the ground next to the toilet.  
“Ian, what happened?”  
I shook him awake and helped him up. He was pale, and smelled like vomit. I layed him down on the couch in the living room.  
He finally sat up. I remembered what he’d said in the hospital: Look at me, Anthony. I’m shit. Ian’s always been self-conscious, but this was much worse.  
“Ian, what’s wrong?” I asked.  
“I got sick, Anthony,” He said, “I’m fine.”  
“Are you…throwing up on purpose?”  
He stared at me. I put my arm around his shoulders.  
“Ian…you can tell me anything,” I said, “I won’t judge you.”  
He shook his head.  
“You woudn’t understand,” He said.  
“Ian…”  
“I just want to be loved, Anthony,” He darted.  
“I love you, Ian,” I said.  
“Do you know…how many people hate me…”  
“Those people don’t matter,” I said.  
Ian got up from the couch and ran off. He went to his room.  
Ian’s POV  
I heard a gasp as I removed my shirt and looked in my mirror. Anthony was standing in the doorway. I looked away, he said he wouldn’t judge me.  
“It…it’s worse than I thought,” Anthony said.  
I put my shirt back on and sat on the bed.  
“Ian…how much…”  
“Ninety-five pounds,” I said, “More or less.”  
“Seriously?”  
“Not all of us can be perfect,” I snapped.  
I felt bad for snapping at Anthony, but I couldn’t help it. He sat by me.  
“Ian…I probably have more haters than you do,” He said, “I know how self-conscious you are, but..”  
“I love you, Anthony,” I said, and hugged him.  
He took out his phone and messed with it for a few minutes.  
“Wanna take a picture,” He asked.  
I brushed my hair with my hands.  
“I…sure,” I said.  
I smiled as he took a picture of us.  
“Here,” He said, showing me the picture.  
“Don’t post that,” I said.  
“Why not?” He asked, “You look great, Ian.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Would I lie to you?”   
“Fine,” I sighed.  
He posted the picture on Instagram, with some tags.  
Anthony’s POV  
After hanging out with Ian for a few hours, I went home and started editing our Smosh second channel video. I went on Twitter and tweeted something for Ian.  
Ian’s POV  
I looked at the comments on Anthony’s Insagram picture:  
Click here for a free Ipad  
Aw! So cute!  
Ian, are you okay?  
Ian, you look upset.  
Ian looks different.  
Different? What did that mean? Did they notice that I’d gotten skinnier? My phone rang, it was Anthony, so I answered it.  
“Hey,” I said.  
“Ian, check your Twitter,” He said.  
“Why?”  
“Just do it,” He said.  
“Okay.”  
I hung up and checked my Twitter. On it, I had a bunch of tweets saying:  
We love you Ian<3  
You’re so kawaii!<3  
You’re the best, Ian!<3  
I saw Anthony’s tweet, which said: Send Ian your <3, he’s having a bad day.


	4. chapter 4

I thought of all the times I thought Anthony actually hated me, all the times I thought everyone hated me. I bumped in to someone.   
“I..I’m sorry,” A girl’s voice said.  
I looked up. She was beautiful: blonde hair, not exactly skinny, but not fat either.  
“That was my bad,” I said, “I should pay attention more.”  
She smiled and blushed.  
“Hey, you’re that guy from Smosh, right?” She asked.  
“Yeah,” I said, “Name’s Ian.”  
“I’m Penelope,” She said.  
“Hi Penelope,” I said.  
“So Ian,” She said, “If you’re not busy, do you want to…hang out at the food court?”  
“Uh..I’ve got time,” I said.  
So Penelope and I went to the food court and got some ice cream. We talked for a while about Smosh and about other things. After we were finished hanging out, she gave me her number.   
“See you later, Ian,” She said.  
Penelope’s POV  
Holy crap! Did I just give IAN HECOX my number?! What was I THINKING?! He’s not going to call me! Man, I’m stupid!  
Ian’s POV  
Something must be wrong with her. She likes me.


	5. Chapter 5

Two days later…

Penelope's POV

Ian called me. He asked me on a date and I accepted. We went out to dinner, my choice. He picked me up at my house.

Ian's POV

I ate my dinner faster than she did.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I lied.

"Okay," She said.

I ran to the bathroom and silently threw up in the stall. I flushed it down. Why am I doing this? I don't know. However, I also felt like complete worn out afterwards. I took a deep breath, rinsed my mouth out in the sink, and went back to our table.

"Ready to leave?" I asked.

"Yeah," She said.

"I'll pay," I said.

She nodded. I paid for dinner and drove her home. She kissed me after I dropped her off. I held my breath and hoped she didn't smell the vomit.

"Umm…I'll call you, Ian," She said.

I smiled.

"Bye," I said.

The next day…

Penelope called me while I was editing a 'Lunchtime With Smosh' episode with Anthony. I answered.

"Hey Ian," She said, "You busy?"

"Just editing," I said, "Um…what did you want?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go on another date."

"Sure," I said, "I'm free this Saturday," I said.

"Okay."

"Three thirty?"

"Yeah," She said, "See you then. Bye Ian."

"Bye Penelope."

I hung up.

"So…" Anthony trailed.

"This Saturday," I said, "Three thirty."

"Nice," He said.

I continued editing.

"Are you still throwing up, Ian?" He asked.

"No," I said.

"You're lying," He said.

"You can just read me like a book, can't you?!"

"Yes," He said, "And I wish you would stop."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

I shook my head.

"I tried," I said, "I really did."

"Ian…when you were in the hospital, I felt like it was all my fault," He said.

"It wasn't," I said, "It really has nothing to do with you."

"Is it really JUST the internet comments?"

I shook my head.

"No," I told him, "It's a whole combination of things. When I broke up with my girlfriend, I felt like shit. You remember that."

He nodded.

Anthony's POV

"What I never told you was that I cried myself to sleep almost every night," He said, "You and Smosh were the only things keeping me going."

I put my arm around his shoulder

"Of course, the comments didn't help much, either," He continued, "I started comparing myself to you, and everyone else, and realized..."

I never realized Ian's breakup affected him so much. He never told me.

"So you decided to keep this from me because…?"

"Well Anthony, I honestly thought you wouldn't care," He said.

That hurt me.

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

"I don't know," He said, "I didn't think anyone cared."

"We've been friends since forever," I said, "You're…like a brother to me."

Saturday…

Penelope's POV

Ian came over to my house since I didn't feel good.

"Ian?" I asked.

He looked at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," He said.

He grabbed my hand gently and held it. I noticed him staring at my arm, and I pulled my hand away.

Ian's POV

I noticed the marks on her arm before she pulled away. I sighed.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked.

"Yeah," She whispered.

"I have an eating problem," I said, "I…throw up everything I eat."

She held out her arms and showed me the few cuts. I held her hands.

"Are those new?" I asked.

"Kind of," She said, "You're not alone, Ian."

"You know, that stuff's dangerous," I said.

"So is throwing up," She said lightly.

I hung my head. She hugged me.

"Ian, what's wrong?" She asked, "Why are you doing this?"

I told her what happened in the past few weeks.

"You think YOU'RE ugly?!" She said.

"You're beautiful," I said honestly.

She blushed. I kissed her.

"I'm glad I gave you my number," She said.

I smiled. She cuddled with me on the couch. She told me about her ex.

"I dated him for about two years," She said, "He was…kind of the reason I started cutting."

"He hurt you?"

"He beat me up," She said, "All the time."

"I'll never hurt you," I said.

Penelope's POV

I woke up in Ian's arms. He's so cute when he's sleeping. I decided not to wake him up, and slipped past him and went to the kitchen. I chopped up some strawberries and put them in a bowl. When I got back to the living room, Ian was awake. I handed him the bowl.

"I can't force you to eat," I said.

"Thanks," He said.

He took a piece of strawberry and ate it.

"I'll try to help you," I said.

"Penelope…will you…be my girlfriend?"

"I'd love to," I said.

He kissed my hand.

"I'll treat you better than that asshole," He said.

I smiled.


End file.
